Sunday, January 15, 2012


Even.  A more difficult word than I realized.  I'm struggling a bit with this own fault because I suggested it...but I digress.

This word calls up so many different ideas for me.  Even vs. odd.   Even, as in what you get when somebody toilet papers your front yard.  Even, like all lined up.  Even as in Steven...who is that guy anyway.

I know this couple that has an epic score card of who did what, when.  If he goes out with his buddies on a Friday night and is gone for 4 hours, she is entitled to a 4 hour girl's night...soon.  If she goes on a run for an hour, he gets a workout of the same length.  His turn.  Her turn.  Her turn.  His turn.  Even.  Meh.

Even?  This kind of evenness just doesn't seem right to me.  In my mind the word 'even' is inherently linked to the word 'balance'.

But what you learn about balance, as you get better at it, is that balance doesn't always mean having the same amount on each side.  Sometimes you have to lean way over to one side and falling over is not an option.  So your body does this amazing thing.  It compensates.  When you have to lean, or carry a heavy load or reach down to hold a hand your body shifts to keep you from falling when your sides are not even.

This idea works in relationships too.  When you get better at relationships you realize that the kind of evenness that works in a relationship is not about having the same amount for each side.  In a relationship that's working, the balance is more important than the evenness.  And the balance comes when you learn to compensate.  A shift when the load is unbalanced.  A hold when you begin to fall.

Sometimes balance isn't always about being even.

1 comment:

  1. I happen to know the hands in this photo - nice shot. Really enjoyed the post and the reminder that keeping score is the best way to be un-even most of the time. I remember two good pieces of advice I heard years ago regarding marriage:

    1. Out-serve your spouse
    2. When she wins, you win

    Those have helped out on many occasions to keep my wife and I 'even'.